Poker is so fucking frustrating sometimes....

Run bad + Play bad = just plain bad....what else?

tomorrow is another day (really have to eliminate tilt, of any form, subtle or obvious) Just gona try to make good solid plays and hopefully win. If I can't beat 25nl, no matter how retarded the ppl might be, then there's no point trying to become a pro. Also, I'm going to shut down a little bit. I've been running 33/28/4.5 I think this is way too aggressive for micro stakes. There's just no point doing this....I'm going to try to make my stats more like 25/19/3

I'm going to shave my head today

Not just gona give up like this...

I suck at poker.....

today was a complete disaster. I had a pretty decent morning session but my night session was an absolute nightmare. I found this fish and was outlucked and i guess to certain degree outplayed by him. (for a lot of money) I dont' even want to waste the time to show u what kind of nasty beats I took. then I went on tilt..(surprise surprise) first some 500+20 HU SNG, lost then some 10-20 limit HU, won, then some 2-4 & 3-6 limit HU, then some 1-2 PL omaha HU, then some 3-6NL HU!!....stakced the first hand (cuz i was on tilt obviously) then got to play this one guy....he was pretty tight and I was up like maybe....$75 then this hand came up.....

http://www.pokerhand.org/?575059

not gona expalin what i was thinking because i can't even remember. I was just totally steaming. I was actually going to check-fold this but I have no idea how I c-raised him minimum. Anyway, when I put in that river bet I was like praying he'd just fold so I can leave....then he puts me all-in...i was like sigh....fuck...i'm definitely beat here. n then I was like fuck it I'm just gona call and if I lose (which I was like 100% certain I was) I was gona go beat off n sleep it off. I was SOOOOOOOOOO surprised that I actuallly had him.....I'm not happy though...because I once again played outside of my rolll.....if I did not win this hand my roll would be at 4.2k or so.....

right now its sitting at 5.5k...what luckbox.....

sigh....I think I'm overestimating my abilities. I mean sometimes I make some extremely sick calls and sometimes my reads are spot on. but when times go bad I just lose a big chunk. oh..and another thing I notice is that I can read 'good TAGs' very well but I can't read fishes for shit. sigh...maybe I should start believing ppl when they show strength.

Ran well today

Well for the most part. I actually sucked out on a few people today for stacks. Feels good to suckout ppl once in awhile when usually I'm the one getting sucked out on. I feel very comfortable at 100 but I took a shot at 200 today. I dont' know if its because of the table but the play seems to be noticeably tighter. But I still think I can beat that stake. However, psychologically, I am more comfortable at 100nl right now. 200 just seems to be a lot of money to be lost in 1 hand. I'm gona probably take shots here and there but for the most part I'm going to be at 100. Maybe bump up a table or 2. right now i'm 4 tabling. I think if I can up my table to 6 then I can pretty easily put in 2k hands everyday. That'll put me at about 60k hands for 1 month which is a big number. Ima try to do that. RB would be very nice as well.

Today I actually felt like making it as a pro online is not impossible. I mean I used to feel like GP is like from another planet and that me playing 25nl is NEVER going to catch up to him playing 50-100. Today I actualy felt, 'hey maybe I CAN really pull this off' and 'hey maybe I just take my bankroll to 15k by dec 31st. If I can keep playing tilt free poker, I think I WILL do it.

I can't believe the goal I wanted to achieve by Thursday has been hit. In just 1 day. Right now my roll sits at:

FT: $5432
Wpx: 66

Total: $5497 (I would consider this to be comfortably over 5k)

Now, lets see if I can take it to over 6k comfortably by Friday.

The last few days have been pretty standard. not getting anything great but not so horrible either. so I think in the past few days I've grinded out about $500 or so in profit. I think GP said it best "playing this style, you won't win much when you don't hit, but when you get cards, you win ridiculous amounts of money." seriously. that's what happened aobut 4 days ago with my +750 day. I was hitting a lota hands.
From the threads on 2+2, it seems like FTP is a place full of good players. But I don't think so. imo I can outplay any one of these motherfuckers at .5-1 nl. After all, this pretty decent player, "takeurcheese" who is obviously a TAG and knows a decent amount of poker knowledge, was no match for me and because of myself went on tilt himself but won't even admit. Peopel on FT seems to nitty for the most part while having some LAGs, but they are terrible LAGs. I dun think FT is that hard of a place at all and I'm cruising with the last 9.5k hands at 6.1bb/100 (this is including that huge tilt session I had) Honestly I think if I can play like how I have been playin for the past 3-4 days, having 10bb/100 winrate is absolutely doable.

Enough said, here's my roll update.
FTP: $4857
Wpx: $66

Total: $4923

I want to be comfortably sitting at 5k+ by Thursday when Peter gets here. oh and I think I have about $200+ from rb so far this month. I'm pretty confident that I'll get about $500 from rb in october. So far so good, keep it up.

Man do I love this feeling. I feel confident. I feel encouraged. I know I can beat NL100 at Full Tilt and I KNOW I can beat levels that are higher than this. I might be running hot but I've also been playing very well with no tilt what so ever in the past 3 days, which is like 3.5k hands. I put in 1.3k hands today and voila, what do i get? about 7+ buy ins. Ship it!

since my decision to stop tilting 3 days ago: +$1397 ship it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've also watched a lot of GP videos lately and have really imitated his style of play. I think I'm doing a pretty good job today as some of the plays I pulled off today my reads were dead on. I needa continue what I'm doing and hopefully continue to run hot.

OH!

we've also got a sidebet going on now. Between stick and I.

$200 says his roll will be lower than mine on the midnight of 12/31/06. His odds are 3-1 against. Better get your grind on sh, no soft playing here, I'm aiming for at least 12k by then and hopefully 4 tabling 400NL.

Bankrolll at: $4398.6 ($2 in Neteller)

I played a pretty decent morning session today. again, no tilting for the whole day. I'm very proud of that. I did however, got extremely pissed when I got 1 outed on the river for stacks. This is the hand.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?555979
very brutal indeed. but there's nothing I can do. I had a +EV of 0.95. no way was I folding on the flop even if he showed me his cards. This is just a bad beat and I guess I won't be seeing another one of this for a WHILE, hopefully.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?555980
This is a call down that I made on this guy who got very pissed off at me and started to talk shit about me through chat. I'm not sure if this was a good call or not. But if you were watching the game, he INSTANTLY pushed all-in on the river. it was so fast that it seemed like he did it before the card even came out. I think usually if he's got the Ace of spades he'd tryta milk it. or at least pause and tryta hide the excitement. That's just human's natural instinct. I did not think this player was a deep tricky thinkin player so I put him on a bluff. Which I was right. I almost timed out though on this. Let me know what you think peter.

also, it was pretty funny how this decent TAG asked me to leave the table because I was absolutely killing this fish. He would call me down with anything so I stopped making continuation bets against him and waited for like an hour for my good hands. When I got my good hands I induced bluff on him SOOOO bad that he basically bluffed off 3 full stacks to me. Yeah he had like $350 in front and I busted him after an hour. People on Full Tilt's 100NL are really getting to know me. I've had people purposely sit at my tables because they saw me tilting the other day and thought I was fish. Too bad for them because that's totally my worst play and I stacked that guy who followed me bout 4 times today also. And a bunch of players are getting extremely frustrated by the way how I play that they just refuse to play against me and leave and leave me to the TAGs. I want to make a good rep on full tilt that I am nobody to be pushed around. If you wana play me. You either better have a pair, or grow one.

http://twodimes.net/h/?z=2127220
pokenum  -h 7d 7h  - 3d 3h  -- 7c as 3c
Holdem Hi: 990 enumerated boards containing As 7c 3c
cards  win   %win  lose  %lose  tie  %tie     EV
7d 7h  947  95.66    43   4.34    0  0.00  0.957
3d 3h   43   4.34   947  95.66    0  0.00  0.043


CruS: hus can you LEAVE you are taking the fish
cash
I_Husoool: i gave him the money anyway
CruS: wtf man you saw him take 100 from me
CruS: let me get it
CruS: :)

+682 in 2 days. Ship it. No tilt also!

Not a bad day today.

Did well in my early session. My night session was a bit of a roller coaster ride consisting of stacking lai stacking chu....i was evetually down when i lost my A7 to KK to a river 2 outer and i called this dude's bluff with top pair n he drew runner runner flush on me for a stack....also this fish who wud limp call my raise and call me down with nothing while of course again i hit nothing and his bottom pair holds up. i knew i cud beat him if i just get a hand but before i could, he left the table. I'm pretty proud that despite wanting to get back at the fish, I still was patient and would fold weak hands and even if my hand missed i'd let him take the pot from me. I just wanted to wait for good situations and not waste money doing stupid stuff. overall today I think I played very solid with no tilt at all. I'm happy with that and despite those bad beats i'm still up about $270 today. This is how I must play poker.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?554163
this is how i thought about the hand afterwards. obviously he had outs and its perfectly natural that he outdrew me, that's just gona happen sometimes. but I thought about how if he showed me what he had and i was facing the all-in bet, would i call? obviously I would. So this call is not an error but a +EV play. So even though i got stacked I'm not that bothered by it because I got it in with the best of it

I tilt GOOT


http://www.pokerhand.org/?552597

seriously though, this kind of stuff cannot continue. I'm playing WAYYYYYYYYYYY over my head there. I'm gona havta recheck my mental game and if its not passing tomorrow Ima take a day off. Today was a pretty rough day, had the feeling of 'oh no my roll is gona be gone again' I never want to have that feeling again, ever. I do not want to jeopardize a huge chunk of my roll under any circumstance in any fucking way. That's just the bottom line. Had I tilted bad today my roll would be gone. Easily. I'm so lucky to have a 3k roll right now. I gota protect that shit. I needa get back to the mental state that I had back in September where I just tried to play my best and not let the results get to me. What I have been noticing though is the chatting that's gettin to me. Today these fags kinda implicitly colluded by all calling me down and liek this guy would iso raise me and this fag would call and say 'lets take him down'. of course i'd flop nothing and they'd call me down with bottom pair while i'm showing good strength. maybe its time for me to play a little tighter and not bluff so much. yeah I'm gona do that. I've been playing about 32/25/6 lately and i'm gona tryta tone that down to about 27/20/3. can't be too agressive at the 100's

new goal. no more tilting. no more HU sng's. no more limit heads up for bankrolls and take a fucking break when you notice you're tilting. seriously, it sounds so simple, and it is very doable. do it

Fucking tilt. I hate fucking tilt. Who went on tilt today? you fucking did. you fucking went on stupid fucking tilt today and tilted off how much?! more than 1k? are you fucknig kidding me.

is this who you want to be? you want to be tilting away hard earned money? you wana look like a huge fish on steam to other players? you wanna go broke time after time again and continue grinding low limits 5 years later while peter is at high stakes? you a micro bug for life? who the fuck do you wana be? man what the fuck, take fucking control man. you are fucking retarded. you wana be doing this cycle forever or something? man the fuck up. ignore the gay ass fucking short stacks and the fag that hit and ran you or the retard that proudly showed u the retarded bluff. ignore those shit and play your fucking A game. I'm gona come down so fucking hard on you now. one more mistake like this and you're gona havta give up poker. no more mega donkey tilts. if you're tilting, take a fucking break, if you can't take a fucking break while you're tilting, then you might as well go eat fucking shit. you hear me?

and if you ever fucking play limits that are beyond your bankroll, you're done with poker. if you, at this point, cannot even do that as a successful bankroll management, then fuck poker you're better off just doing some other random shit or work at mcdonald's for minimum wage. i'm very fucking serious that i'm gona be coming that very hard on you bro. if you don't play your A game, you don't play ANY game. period.

right now, you are a failed poker player. a failed gambler. and a failure to your own mind and discipline. control your mind, and you can control the table. MAKE IT HAPPEN

This image pretty much sums up my morning session today...

+450 in 200 hands. ship it

Focus Focus Focus

Tilted like a motherfucker today. Got hit by a lot of sets today in either SNGs or NL100. And I just had to have at least top two pair or overpair for those times and get stacked......2 outed on the river when I have trip A's etc. BAD BAD day. Lost like $450 in the first hour of play. Then proceed to play some PL omaha heads up for $100 and being the player I am, I won a couple, like 2 lol. it was really a bad feeling because i kinda felt like I was 'me' before. Trying to win back the money I lost at cash games through other means, like HU SNG, Blackjack, HU limit etc. I did win a nice chunk at a 6max 3/6 game (limit) but still, I was just steamin the whole day. very very bad.

Capped my day with a night session that went smooth. I concentrated 100% and made some really good calls and plays. This is how I must play whether the cards are on my side or not. New rule I set for myself is to watch at least one education video first thing before I start my session.

What am I here for? Win money
What am I gona do? Play my A game
What happens when a fag runner runners u? Let it go
What about tilt? Nonexistent
What time is it?! GAME TIME

Stepped up to NL100 today and I am EXTREMELY proud of how I handled myself.

So early on I had a flush draw/gut shot/2nd pair/1 overcard and lost bout $80 to this solid player. I then proceed to get stacked set over set at the other table, which was NL50. Right after I rebought, I pick up KK UTG and gets stacked all-in preflop by AA. Suddenly down 3 buy-ins. 1 from 100 anohter from 50. I didn't tilt though because those are just hands that are gona happen sometimes. It's not like I played bad or anything. Those hands are just part of the game....So I stayed focus and played very solid. Not much action at the 50 but there was plenty at the 100. Check these hands out.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?544017
his stats are very solid. 22/14/2.5 over 100 hands. I opted to smooth call this hand because 1. I'm in position 2. I don't want to give away my hand strength as reraising here will let him know I'm holding a premium hand. So the flop came alright. I was pretty surprised I got a check from villain but heck I have KK so I bet. He then check-raises me, which caught me a bit off guard. Now I've narrowed his range down to AJ/JJ/99/QQ/AKh.....basically I'm not ahead by much. I thought about shoving here but I was not confident about my hand and I wanted to re-evaluate the turn. Boom the worst card possible (or maybe the card that saved my stack) A hits....now I do not see me beating any of his range and his strong almost pot sized bet is telling me he's not afraid of the A. I kinda ruled out bluffing because he's just not the type of player that would bluff for so much of his stack OOP. Conclusion - fold. if I was ahead of him, then he outplayed me but I think this is a very good fold.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?544022
ok so big hand #2. I'm especially cautious against him because he has about 2.5x the buy-in and it would hurt a lot to get stacked by him. So my raise here was basically to isolate the fish 'sora626' as he has been outplayed and stacked by me quiet a few times and is steaming. I got a call from the solid player in the BB which kind of got my attention. For now I'm putting him on a pocket pair or something like AQs/AJs. From what I have seen he's not yet made 1 call by a raiser OOP. So we got to the flop. Bingo! 2 pair. Not a bad flop for me at all. Both check and I fire a standard continuation (now value) bet into the pot then I get fucking check-raised by him. With me folding that KK several orbits before, I didnt' want him to think that he can push me off hands easily and if he's check-raising anything but a set/straight/or some kinda combo draw, he probably won't push. I min reraise him and he immediately pushes all-in. FUCK I said in my head.....now, lets think about what I beat, I beat a combo draw, JT, straight/flush draw....and that's it. I think about AKs, but that hand is still weak because I'm showing ALOT of strength 3 betting him. I had to just put him on AQ with no spades because he's telling me 'I have a big hand that I dont' want to see another card come out' so I think ultimately he didn't have spades, which leads to the conclusion that he has a made hand and I'm pretty far behind...so I folded. This is probably the biggest fold I've ever made in cash games. I mean, flopping two pair is great, but its def not the nuts.

Although these two plays might seem standard to many, they are kind of a milestone for me. I had sucha hard time laying down big hands before but now I think I can do it and not get emotionally pissed off at it. I even chit chatted with the guy because he showed his hand and is pretty impressed of my play which made me pretty swung. one of the biggest element to success in NL hold'em is laying down big hands and I think I'm starting to have that ability and its happening naturally which only means $$$$$$$$$$$$.

today is a down day and I've lost so much at sng's that I'm down in October but it dont' matter because I played my A+ game.

September Results Post:

Ok. So September is officially over. Lots of things happened. Let me being by giving props to Peter who lend me $500 to allow me to get back on my feet in the closing days of August. I saw the great progress he was making, financially, and as a player, and felt that I cannot fall behind like this. So I picked up the slack and threw BJ and tilt way back in history and started to work hard. Well, the hard work has paid off. I started with actually $500 from Peter to clear the PP reload, did that, got some profit and $75 and worked up from there playing some NL25 @ party and some bonus whoring playing limit. I finally ended up at Stars with the reload and found myself enjoying the turbo sng's. So the last week of September was basically hardcore multitable sng's.

As a whole, I think I probably ran above average. Honestly I think I ran pretty well at limit whoring and also NL cash games. I cannot say I ran well at sng's but sometimes I feel like I'm just on a heater. But there was also this huge 250 sng breakeven stretch which was the longest I have endured as a player. Right now, my perspective towards the game and my threshold for taking bad beat has grown SO much more mature compared to me in June where BJ just plagued me. I do not even think about BJ anymore. Before, I might lose my roll, rebuild, but in the process of rebuilding, I'd still play some BJ, to win some buy-in back and most of the times I
d win, but once in a while I'd lose my bankroll; then rinse and repeat. I cannot see myself like that anymore. I've completed changed and I'm proud to say that I took $150 and made it into $2890, in September with 2-3 days from August. This has exceeded my goal of 2000 by quiet a margin but the fact that I actually completed a goal is very satisfying. I treated myself to NBA 2k7 today for the work I put in. I think that was adequate. Next month, I will strive to step it up to the next level and continue to make some $$$$.

September results:
+$2740

October goals:
1. Play 1200 STT's
2. Move up to $27s
3. Play 10k hands of NL cash game
4. Move up to NL100
5. Win $3000